


Cats are a Man's Best Friend / Cats Know Best

by fors_manus



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, M/M, any feedback is welcome!!, this is currently a draft in the making which i plan to continue, update: the published version of this fic has been uploaded!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 03:28:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20369926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fors_manus/pseuds/fors_manus
Summary: Waking up to a stranger's cat sleeping in your bed is certainly a first in Fjord's books, but it may just be what he needs to get to know cute and handsome who keeps coming into his cafe.(Edit: The published version of this fic has been uploaded!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/20356993)





	Cats are a Man's Best Friend / Cats Know Best

Fjord was allergic to cats.

Not severely, he’s not heartless enough to pass off petting the occasional street cat if they meow for his attention.

But enough so that when Fjord visited the new Cat Café in town with Jester and Beau, he had left less than 10 minutes later sneezing his lungs out like no tomorrow when the cat hairs became to much for his poor immune system.

Jester was more than apologetic, and though Beau had been laughing her arse off when she followed them out, she had soon become concerned after his sneezes passed the breach of 20 in a row.

Other than cats, Fjord knew of no other allergies he had.

Which made waking up on a bright Friday morning ever the stranger when his first reaction was the sneeze heavily, only to freeze at the disgruntled sound coming from a weight lying upon his chest.

Blinking drowsily, Fjord propped his head up on his pillow to look down at the strange object, stopping abruptly at the sight of a Bengal cat curled up upon his chest, sleeping.

See, the thing is, Fjord likes cats.

He is also aware that his roommate, Mollymauk, is as fond of cats as he is dogs. The other thing being that both he and Molly are aware of the pets restriction their apartment block has.

Therefore, neither he nor Molly own a pet.

Therefore…

“How the ‘ell did you get in ‘ere?” Fjord murmured, his hand coming up cautiously to gently try stroking between the feline’s ears. Feeling the cat’s rumbling purr more than hearing it, Fjord couldn’t help the sleepy smile creeping upon his face as the cat pushed its face into his palm.

Spending the next few minutes petting the creature with the occasional sneeze, Fjord eventually took notice of the lack of collar it wore, furthering the mystery of the cat’s origin.

“No name… no address… you a stray, little one?” he asked, watching as one of the cat’s eyes peered open to stare at him.

“As nice as this is, little guy,” he continued, looking to his bedside table to the digits displaying on his alarm clock, “some of us do have work to go to today.”

As if on queue, a rhythmic knock drummed upon Fjord’s bedroom door, opening not a few moments later to the sight of a smiling purple tiefling entering the room.

“Good morning my dear!” Molly cooed, dancing across the floor to sweep open the curtains, allowing the rays of sunlight to fill up the room.

“The sun is shining! The birds are singing! The weekend is just around the corner! There’s a cat in your bed! There’s a cat in your bed. Fjord, why is a cat in your bed?” Molly’s greeting trailed off, his posture changing from loose to frigid the moment his red eyes landed upon the lump of fur.

“You’re guess is as good as mine,” Fjord responded, gently picking up the creature from his chest to pull away the covers.

Frowning, Molly walked over to sit next to the half-orc, peering down at the cat who now sat in Fjord’s lap, it’s golden eyes blinking lazily at the two of them as if this were a normal situation.

“How did it even get in here?” the tiefling wondered aloud, reaching over to scritch the feline’s forehead causing it to lean into his touch.

“Well, now you’re just being adorable,” Molly smiled, purposely moving his petting hand closer to himself so the cat would follow and settle on top of him.

Feeling an itch upon his nose, Fjord rose from his bed and moved to his closet, taking out some work clothes and a fresh towel for a shower. “Don’t get too attached,” he smiled at his friend. “They’re not ours, and even if it is a stray, our landlord said no pets.”

“Oh, I’m sure we could work something out if he’s abandoned,” Molly gave him a side-long look before looking back to the cat, making kissy noises.

“Abandoned?” Fjord frowned.

“Look at him, Fjord!” Molly insisted, picking up the bundle and facing it so it stared up at the half-orc, “His pelt, so shiny and groomed! Being so calm around the both of us despite being strangers! Accepting all the good pets because he’s such a good boy!”

The further he spoke, the higher the pitch of Molly’s voice hit forcing Fjord to restrain from smiling. It would do neither of them any good if they both grew too connected to the mysterious cat, as adorable as it was.

“Molly, your attachment is showing,” Fjord sniffed, somehow unable to look away from the cat’s golden gaze as it continued to stare at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Molly huffed, moving his arms so that the pet was now cradled into his arms like a baby, softly scratching its belly as he rocked back and forth.

“Better take that shower, big boy, time’s a ticking and our baby will be ever so sad to see you go to work without saying goodbye!” the tiefling smiled, propping up onto his tip-toes to give Fjord’s cheek a smooch and began to walk out of the room.

“Tell the human I said hi, would ya?”

Fjord stiffened in place, his cheeks reddening at the implication of Molly’s words.

“We’re not adopting him, Molly!” Fjord called after him, rolling his eyes when the other simply laughed in response.

* * *

“So, you’re telling me, that sometime during the night, a _literal_ random ass street cat broke into your apartment _just_ so it could curl up on your chest and fall asleep,” Beau stared at him in disbelief, the coffee stirrer in her hand jabbing in his direction at every emphasis.

“That’s precisely what I’m saying,” Fjord responded, tilting the milk jug away from the takeaway cup and turning his head to face the latest customer. “Chocolate on your cappuccino, ma’am?” he asked, holding up the shaker.

The half-elf lady in line looked up from her phone, a tired but genuine smile on her face appearing as she nodded.

“Alright. One cappuccino, two lattes and a flat white. Anything else we can get for you today, ma’am?” Fjord murmured, fingers tapping away at the cashier screen as he rang up the customer’s total.

Quickly typing on her phone, the half-elf smiled again as she showed him the screen, displaying a simple message of << _No, thank you :) _>> as she reached for the pots filled with packets of sugar and stirrers displayed on the front of the counter.

Feeling Beau lean into his space, Fjord held in a sigh as she propped herself over the counter with a lazy smile. “Are you sure there isn’t… _anything _else, we can get you?” Beau asked slyly. “Like, anything, you name it and we’ve probably got it. Anything you want.”

The lady blushed, her cheeks now matching the deep red scarf she wore to fight off the autumn chill as she fumbled with her purse. Raising a hand, she quickly but politely signed a decline of Beau’s advances.

“That comes to 5 silver pieces then, please,” Fjord intervened quickly, nodding as the half-elf gently drops the pieces into his palm and grabs her drinks, waving in farewell and blushing yet again at Beau before leaving the coffee shop.

“Do you have to flirt with every female customer we get?” Fjord sighed, pushing the cash drawer closed and turned to his friend in time to see her blanch in response.

“What, no!” she protested, crossing her arms and looking away, “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Uh-huh,” Fjord muttered, giving her a side-long glance before turning to wipe down the coffee counter. “What happened to you trying to get it on with Jester?”

“Nothing!”

“Nothing?”

“Just…” Beau’s voice trailed off, making Fjord smile.

Beauregard was a hopeless flirt, never holding herself back from tossing out the occasional compliment and attempt to chat up whichever female she came across that caught her eye.

It was, however, ever more ridiculous when it came to her attempts at flirting with their fellow hyperactive blue friend.

Anyone in a ten-foot radius could easily tell how fallen for Beau was for Jester; with how quickly she would spin a joke during a group conversation only to face Jester to see her reaction. Or how she would purposely have her hair down, fully knowing Jester would compliment it each time she did and, if she was lucky, would offer to braid it for her.

In short, it seemed that every person who knew Beau was aware of how deeply infatuated she was with the bright girl. That is of course, everyone but Jester.

“What happened to you offering to take her to the bowling place out of town?” Fjord asked, rinsing off the cloth he used before turning around to face his friend, keeping an eye on the door at the same time for any customers.

“Couldn’t book it,” Beau mumbled.

“Oh?”

“Turns out she’s banned,” the human continued, clearing her throat, “apparently swung too hard on a bowling ball last time she was there and caused it to uh, be thrown into the ceiling and make a huge hole. Lots of structural damage, got kicked out and is apparently banned for the foreseeable future.”

Fjord blinked, “Holy shit.”

She laughed, scratching the side of her head, “You’re telling me!”

“So, where are you going to take her instead?”

“Ah, I dunno,” Beau pouted, slouching slightly, “I’m not good with this… date stuff.”

Fjord hummed, allowing the low chatter of the customers currently drinking and having conversation in the café wash over them before breathing in.

“Why not take her to the roller-skating rink just opposite of the bowling place?” he offered, trying to make himself look busy by restocking the tea bag jars.

“Dude, seriously?” Beau guffawed, “Roller skating? Did you forget about the amount of times I fell on my ass the day we went to the ice-skating rink last year?”

“No,” Fjord responded, and it was true.

He hadn’t forgotten the amount of times he heard Beau yell bloody murder every time she slipped on the ice and crashed onto her backside. Nor had he forgotten the amount of times she’d complained to him on the drive home when he offered to give her a lift, as the headache he’d received from it promised.

But the one thing he’d _certainly _not forgotten was the amount of times Jester had nearly fallen from laughter every time Beau would topple. And how Beau would blush and find excuses to hold Jester’s hand when the tiefling offered to help her skate throughout the night despite the amounts of complaints she made.

“But you know Jester likes to skate, and maybe with practice, you could learn to enjoy it and do it more often with her. Gives you an excuse to hang out with her, maybe show off a bit…”

“Oh.” Beau’s lips pursed as she scowled, “Stop it, stop being smart. I hate it when you’re being smart.”

Fjord let out a hearty laugh, leaning into Beau’s space, “Just trying to help out a friend. Especially a friend who has the hots for someone so badly.”

“Who has the hots for who now?” a chipper voice interrupted them, causing Fjord to jump and Beau to yell in fright as they both turned towards the voice.

There, Jester stood. A cheerful smile on her face and arms holding a tray of freshly baked goods still steaming, wafting a scent of sweetness in their direction.

“Nothing! Nobody! I mean-!” Beau squawked, looking at Fjord with wide eyes. “We! … We are just talking about… how _much_ Fjord has the hots for his new cat…!”

“Fjord has a cat?!” Jester gasped, dropping the pastry tray on the counter dramatically to put her hands on her hips, ignoring the looks she receives from a few of the seated customers.

“He’s not _my_ cat,” Fjord denied, deciding the play along with Beau’s change of topic for now. “He just showed up at Molly n’ I’s last night, ended up staying the night.”

“But I thought you were allergic Fjord! Is it going to stay with you? Will you keep it? Can I _see_ it?” Jester pleaded, jumping into the half-orc’s space at every question, pouting slightly.

“In all honesty Jessie, I haven’t had the time to work out what’s happening with the cat right now.” He sighed, “I can’t exactly keep him, apartment policy and all that. But I can’t exactly go around asking if anyone’s lost their cat lately either.”

“You could make some posters,” Beau piped up, “Take a picture of the little guy and put em up around town and see if anyone gives you a ring. Where is he now?”

“At home,” Fjord pulled out his phone, opening his messages to show the two the multiple amounts of pictures Molly had sent him throughout the day of him posing with the feline.

Some of them included a caption which eventually led on to a painful cat pun, whilst others were simply poses or pleas for their ‘son’ to see him home soon.

Each of them made both Beau and Jester coo in delight with each swipe of his finger.

“Molly seems overly attached,” Beau comments, moving to the tray Jester brought out to store them in their rightful pile on display.

“That’s what I feared would happen.”

“He’s so cute, Fjord! Are you sure there’s no way you can’t keep him?” Jester asks, plucking his phone from his fingers to flip through each of the pictures all over again.

“Not without being kicked out of the building, Jessie. Besides, lil guy might have an owner wondering where he’s gone off too. Wouldn’t hurt to try looking for them before any other decision is made.”

“Well, if they loved him so much, they would probably take better care of it,” Jester bluntly stated, handing him back his phone.

“Besides!” She continued before anyone could interrupt, “You’re not meant to be on shift today Fjord, keeping an eye out for someone specific, hmm?”

Fjord felt himself shrink in place, his cheeks flushing the further both Jess and Beau smiled knowingly at him. The pronunciation of his name strung out was almost comical if the reason behind it was innocent, but Fjord knew what she was implying… or _who_ specifically she was implying about.

“Just need the extra cash is all,” he tried to casually say, knowing full well he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Has he come in yet?” Jester whispered to Beau with a cupped hand despite the half-orc hearing her completely.

Beau shook her head, mimicking Jester’s hushed voice as she spoke, “Not yet, but it _is_ Friday!”

Just as Fjord opens his mouth to tell them to knock it off, the café’s bell above the door tinged, announcing the presence of new customers.

Turning their heads towards the noise, Fjord froze at the familiar sight of two beings entering the building.

In a blur, Jester reached for Beau’s hand and latched on, pulling her to the kitchen in the back of the café with a thumbs up to Fjord before disappearing completely. If Fjord had paid attention, he would’ve taken notice the bright glow on Beau’s expression as she was pulled away, but alas…

Holding open the door was a human with red hair wearing an old but obviously loved coat, his long scarf wrapped in bundles across his neck to fight off the morning chill. Beside him, a goblin in a similar fashion entered, her hands waving to and fro as she spoke of a grand tale to her friend.

His shaggy hair was pulled back into a half updo, and though his consistent nodding to his friend showed he was paying attention to her, Fjord couldn’t help but notice the faraway look in his eyes the further they approached the counter.

Looking up at the man, the goblin’s face melted into a saddened expression as she drifted off from her story, gently taking one of his hands in hers. Whispering something to him, the human straightened his posture and smiled weakly down at her, before nudging her in the direction of a free table after a few words.

It was true that Fjord didn’t have a shift today, being such good friends with Jester as his manager certainly had its perks on the amounts of days he could have off. But he also knew that the man in front of him only came in once a week on one specific day.

Therefore, it wasn’t any surprise that Fjord made the decision to come in the one day he was booked off, and the one day Mr. Handsome Blue Eyes would walk through the door either.

Beau be damned, he wasn’t going to pass on the chance of being on the receiving end of that smile he felt was reserved for him alone. It felt as if Cupid himself had fired an arrow into his heart the moment he saw that dimple appeared as he laughed at the joke Fjord made of the seasonal drinks at the time.

“_Tell the human I said hi, would ya?_” Molly’s jest from earlier flashed in his mind, making Fjord shake his head as the man walked up to the counter, thin fingers twisting together before laying on the countertop as their eyes met.

“Hallo,” he greeted quietly, gaze flickering to the coffee board above them despite already having an order Fjord’s learnt by heart.

“Hey there,” Fjord smiled, already lost in the deep blues of the other, “the usual?”

“Please, ja. And a latte for my friend here, anything stronger than that and she will be more than I can handle already.” The joke fell dryly between them, but Fjord grinned none the less as he tapped the order onto the till screen.

“Anything else I can get you other than those?”

“Nein. No, thank you.”

Nodding, Fjord turned to make a start on the drinks, his hands smoothly grabbing tools and mugs with practiced ease so both would be served at the right temperature.

The man’s eyes seemed more tired than usual today, the bags under his deep blues more pronounced than the last time Fjord had seen him.

Glimpsing over his shoulder as he filled a pot with boiling water, Fjord watched the human as he stared off into space, brow pinched as he was lost in thought. The only movement betraying his frozen state being the rhythmic tap of his fingertips drumming against the wood.

‘_You could ask him what’s wrong,_’ Fjord thought, placing the top onto the teapot and setting it aside before moving on to making the latte. ‘_Nothing intense, just friendly conversation. You’ve talked before about… things… it won’t seem out of character for you to ask…_’

Fjord bit his bottom lip, feeling his tusks dig into his gums as he weighed his options.

‘_You could always be rejected too. Mr. Too Attractive to Possibly Exist could find your questions invasive, would probably call you out on it and loudly claim you to be a creep and never come to the café again…_’

Fjord frowned, slamming the milk jug harder than necessary back onto the coffee counter after pouring its contents into the mug.

‘_Just ask him, maybe you’ll finally get to know his name if it goes well.’_

Mind decided, Fjord made quick work of the latte and turned around, placing the drinks in front of the red head causing him to snap out of his thoughts.

“Not that it’s any of my business,” he started gently, purposely catching the gaze of the man before continuing, “but are you doing okay? You seem… off today.”

The human blinked, obviously not expecting Fjord to pry.

“You don’t have to give me an answer,” Fjord added quickly, “you just seem to have something on your mind and I uh, hope I don’t come across as too invasive by offering my ears to you if you need to talk about something.”

The silence between them was almost deafening, and Fjord almost wished for another customer to enter the café just so Fjord could avoid the painful rejection he’d likely receive for trying to meddle in someone else’s business.

Instead, the man let out a sheepish breath through his nose, hand coming up to scratch his trimmed beard self-consciously.

“Is it that obvious?” he chuckled lightly, eyes meeting Fjord’s shyly as he shuffled from foot to foot.

“Maybe I’m just awfully perceptive,” Fjord joked before relaxing his stance. “Honestly though, you doin’ okay?”

“Ah, it is nothing serious. Just… lost a friend is all.”

“Oh…” _Shit._

“Not-!” Quickly realizing his term of phrasing, the red head raised his arms and spoke quickly. “My apologies, I did not intend for it to be phrased so darkly. A friend of mine has simply gone missing, is all.”

The human coughed awkwardly, fiddling with the fabric of his scarf as a shading of pink spread across his cheeks, highlighting a vast constellation of freckles.

‘_Cute,_’ Fjord thought, trying his best not to wonder how far down the flush went on the others pale skin, not to mention the amounts of freckles the man had elsewhere on his skin.

“I’m uh,” Fjord coughed, squashing down that trail of thinking quickly before his cheeks grew any redder, “I’m sorry to hear that-”

“Caleb.”

Fjord felt a pull in his neck at how fast his head jolted to meet the other’s, whose face had somehow flushed even pinker as he rolled his lip with his teeth almost tantalizingly.

Many a time in Fjord’s life had he felt himself teased with things dangled just out of reach as he grew.

But _this_?

Torture shaped into a being of pure beauty with hair so soft and eyes so deep and wonderful? A form so elegant and hands so dainty that Fjord wished nothing more than to cradle them carefully and apply feather-like kisses to each fingertip?

“My name is Caleb.”

_Caleb_.

“Well Caleb, it’s good to finally properly meet ‘ya,” Fjord smiled, chest tightening as Caleb -_Caleb!_\- ducked their head shyly, chin tucked into the many folds of his scarf.

“It is good to meet you too. I apologize for misdirecting you earlier, it is just that they had left my home some days ago and I fear something may of happened to them as they have not returned for quite some time…”

“Seems like a reasonable excuse for being so out of it, if you ask me,” Fjord replied, “sounds like you miss them quite a bit.”

“I do,” the human sighed, expression falling from one of radiance into one of deep sadness. “He is a very dear friend of mine and I am not used to him not being with me for such a long period of time.”

Fjord frowned, watching the other’s demeanour quickly reverse back to how it was at the beginning of their conversation. ‘_Great job Fjord, now you’ve made him sad all over again. Now what are you going to do?’_

“Actually,” Fjord spoke up, crossing his arms to lean onto the counter, “if you want, uh, we have a notice board up front by the door, usually have up some posters for shows and advertisements ‘n such but you could leave a picture or somethin’ of your friend, see if anyone in town’s seen them lately?”

Like a spell, Fjord watched as Mr. You So Fine looked over to the cork board behind him, which was currently covered in many an advertisement, before looking back to the half-orc with a look of renewed eagerness.

Caleb let out a small smile, “That would help a lot actually, ja. Thank you. Would it be alright for me to simply return in a few days to place one up?”

“A-absolutely,” Fjord stammered, “I’m in most days already if you need any help… putting it up…”

Caleb’s lips twitched upwards, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Picking up his tray, Fjord watched with a sinking feeling as Caleb prepared to disengage their conversation, naturally to leave and spend time with the person he had originally come in with to pass the morning together.

‘_Of course, he didn’t come in here to spend time with you. You _work_ here idiot. Say something or he’s gonna leave!’_

“You know!” Fjord spoke up again, his typical drawl coming out in a high-pitched squeak making the other pause. Clearing his throat, he continued, “Jester, our baker, made a fresh batch of some cherry puff pastries some minutes ago…”

“Oh?” Caleb asked, eyes flickering to search for the specific treat through the display glass.

“Yeah, um. And I thought, well. Here, on the house for taking up your time.”

Quickly grabbing two plates, Fjord slid on two of the pastries and placed them in front of the man whose mouth was agape in shock.

“Nein, I couldn’t. Let me pay for them at least,” Caleb quickly protested, reaching back into his coat pocket to bring out his wallet once more.

Fjord waved his hand, “Please, I insist. This one’s on me, they’re called kirshtashe right? In Zemnian?”

Caleb blinked, before letting out a short laugh at Fjord’s attempt, “Kirschtaschen.”

“K-Kirshtaschen?”

“Sch, like a shh noise. Kirschtaschen.”

“Kirschtaschen…?”

“That’s it!”

And there it was, that smile that made Caleb’s features light up like the sun’s rays peeking through rainy clouds, reflecting off raindrops to create a scene of absolute beauty.

Fjord swallowed thickly, his tongue feeling too heavy to respond as he watched Caleb place his drinks and kirschtaschen onto a tray.

“Thank you, it was nice speaking with you again, mein freund,” Caleb smiled, picking up the tray and turning in the direction of his table where his friend was sitting, watching their conversation intensely.

“N-no problem.”

_Mein freund._

“I hope you find your friend again soon, Caleb,” Fjord stuttered back, rubbing his neck.

Watching Caleb’s face soften into an expression of fondness the half-orc wasn’t expecting, Fjord felt the thundering of his heart beating heavily as he caught sight of that dimple on the man’s face.

That _damned_ dimple.

“Danke schön, Fjord,” he whispers, before walking to his table.

‘_Holy shit. Holy shiiiiiit._’


End file.
